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Objectification, Impersonal and Forced or Rough SexTo judge by the correspondence I've received since I started this site, there are many women around (and a whole heap of men) whose greatest fantasies revolve around being using or being used as objects, for totally impersonal fucking and even abduction coupled with rough sex and mock or simulated rape. Naturally it goes without saying that non-consensual rape is rightly a serious crime, but in the right circumstances, the thought of being paraded as an object and fucked without thought or abducted, beaten and compelled to fuck one or more people is a common and recurring desire. Medical examinations (see right) often feature as an intense fantasy form of impersonal exploration.
You may not be interested in the rough treatment so much as being treated simply as an object, almost a mannequin or a kind of blow-up doll, just three holes and a pair of tits to be ordered into position, obliged to service any and all comers whether men, women or even animals and having neither mind nor willpower of your own; or the simulated violence could be an essential integral part of it. It could be argued that these are two different strands of thought but my experience (for what it is worth) is that they tend be commingled in the women I have met so far for whom this is a need.
There are real practical difficulties with enjoying these fantasies in real life. A good Master will sense the need for objectification or humiliation in his sub, so that side of it does have a good chance of being done safely and consensually. Rape and violence needs are much more difficult. Equally the impersonal aspect is much harder to carry off if it's with someone who you know and live with as a 24x7 sub since you know them so well. The element of fear and powerlessness will inevitably be harder to generate. Many people find that role-playing works well, setting up a scene where both are actors in it and that's likely to be the best compromise for most.
If your needs are darker and you know that you have to be nothing but an object of desire, in the hands of a stranger, being used only for his gratification alone - and possibly into the bargain feel really afraid, know genuinely that the situation is beyond your control, to have no idea of what is really going to happen - how to reconcile that will be your problem. Your full-time partner may be an option and I would encourage you to consider that before going on to read what else I say here. Personal safety and health needs to be a major consideration. If you really DO want to be raped by strangers, putting your personal safety at total risk, then that's beyond the scope of my experiences and I'd advise you to reconsider.
Many women harbour these urges, fantasies - call them what you may. Lest you doubt it, here is one woman's own thoughts about her inner need.
From what I've seen and read and based on some limited personal experience this is a strong fantasy for a large group of people. It's also quite a common theme in films and writing and I have to say that it works for me too. Seeing images of women posed as statues or items of furniture carries strong undertones of submission, humiliaton and total removal of willpower. A number of my correspondents say that that is all they want - to be dressed as statues at a party or used as footstools or tables or ashtrays. In that case the sexual element is either nonexistent or very much to the back of the idea. Still others find such a situation arousingly erotic. One wrote to tell me of finding enormous pleasure from being able to serve as an extra in a film as a semi-naked waitress, dressed in heels, latex stockings, a latex basque, long latex shoulder gloves and a full-face hood. Her breasts, pussy and buttocks were totally naked yet her face was hidden. She moved silently amongst the guest carrying a tray of drinks.
"I was slippery dripping wet the whole time. They had to wipe my thighs and powder me to reduce the glare. Take after take went on to get the shots right for the party scene, everyone was there, it lasted the whole day. My legs ached standing on those heels and my ankles were killing me. Nobody could see my face but everyone could see my tits and pussy. I went home and frigged myself senseless after the shoot. I would have fucked a drunken bum on the streets the way I was feeling when I left, it was lucky for me I got given a taxi."
It may be enough to be the object, a statue or a piece of furniture, being looked at simply as an item and not as a real person. Models know what that feels like; I've often wondered why they put up with the rudeness and offensiveness of the fashion-shoot process, but got an inkling one day from a friend's girlfriend: she told me that she loved it, all she was was a clotheshorse, not a real person. The rudeness wasn't to her, it was to the person they thought she was - maybe there is a connection there somewhere?
Since this site is mostly about sexual interests the woman-as-statue is of interest but it's not the raison d'être. Instead I want to explore what it is that makes women want to be treated to be treated purely as objects of lust, items to be fucked, used and no thought or interest shown in them as a real person with interests or will or intelligence of their own. Now you could rightly give a hollow laugh and say that that's the way most men treat their women anyhow and there would be a lot of justification in it, but that is really more thoughtlessness and ignorance than a conscious desire to use the girl purely as a sexual cypher.
A recurring thread in the letters I have received is where women have found it hard to get the purely impersonal 'meet me, beat me, fuck me, leave me' treatment that they obviously desire. Cooly treating her as nothing more than an item to be used, spread, explored, investigated (maybe using medical instruments) then fucking her is much more than thoughtlessly ignoring her needs, it is deliberately ignoring them and demonstrating real power over her. This seems to be a very strong fantasy and I've put it into practice a number of times, since I find the woman-as-object image a compelling one.
In one case I managed to act out a fantasy of my own as well. I had been corresponding with 'R' for a while and she was obviously very horny and hugely turned on by the thought of the impersonal fuck. The basics are easy to describe, but in reality the initial preparation and negotiation phase was lengthy and included having HIV tests in advance - it probably took three months to set up. We arranged to meet at her home, with the agreement that she would not speak throughout. I arrived and told her to undress and lie on the floor, which she did. I made her look into my eyes the whole time, telling her to open her legs and masturbate which she did. I had told her in advance that the very first contact she would have with me would be as the naked tip of my cock entered her, bareback with no condom, that I would then fuck her, cum inside her and leave immediately and that I would not contact her again for at least a week afterwards. That is exactly what happened .. fulfilling a fantasy of mine (first contact being as I entered her) and also, it seems, one of hers. Later we found that the leaving immediately was disappointing to us both so we refined the process to be one of spending several hours together, still not speaking and I also introduced breast-slapping and beating, which she found worked even better for her.
Several women I've spoken to about this have said that it's hard to meet men who will do this well, i.e. intentionally aloof and insulting rather than accidental. Apparently the personals ads don't work: to quote one 'They all damn well want to fall in love with me, when all I want is to be slapped and fucked'.
Beware though guys: don't assume that's what they want, prepare the land well in advance or you will get a dire reputation and will have some very angry women on your tail. Make well sure that she really wants that and be prepared to give some emotional support if you get it wrong.
In passing we should note that the gangbang is a favourite old standby of impersonal sex. Ask yourself whether the girl in question is simply hedonistic, enjoying several cocks at once, or perhaps she is enjoying the humiliation of being used, or could it be the fact that it's impersonal and clinical? Unless you understand her well how will you ever know? Dealing with that uncertainty separates the men from the boys.
Violence, Abduction, RapeLet's get it straight: this is about fantasy. Real abduction and rape is a major criminal offence. If you are contemplating doing this with someone you need to be very, very careful that you don't get yourself in court on a charge that carries years of imprisonment. In many jurisdictions it's not even legal with prior consent (I am not a lawyer, so take professional advice on this, not mine).
With the legal and moral warning out of the way, how can it be arranged so that the girl really feels out of control, scared and as near to really raped as possible? A certain amount of violence and threat will be essential - for most girls that is a crucial component of the mix. You will have to find out in advance which of those elements works best for her and then add a few of your own so that the situation is not predictable. You need to be extremely careful about the amount of real physical violence that you apply and that has to be agreed in advance and the limits kept to - I know of one group that provide gangrape experiences (no you can't have their names or details unless I know you incredibly well) where one is always briefed to remain uninvolved but to monitor the others in case things get out of hand. It takes huge self-control and understanding to avoid stepping over the limits. In a scene like that alcohol or any other substance that reduces your control is a total no-no.
Unless you are able to join an experienced group and learn yourself it will be very hard to get the experience necessary to maintain control whilst still manhandling and frightening the girl the right amount. Remember all along: this is acting out a fantasy, fulfilling a deep need yes, but NOT about real rape and uncontrolled violence. Control is everything. If you don't have a steel will and serious self-control already then you are not fit to do this kind of thing.
Maybe she doesn't want to be raped but really gets off on being beaten and/or treated as dirt. In my early days I remember fucking a girl who was tied to the bed and who had told me that she really got off on rough dirty sex. In my inexperience I concentrated on just the fucking without paying attention to how I should be treating her (remember, ignorant indifference is nothing like as insulting and demeaning as calculated indifference) and she told me that I was useless. Showing a second mark of inexperience, I lost my temper and slapped her face: things like that should never be done on the spur of the moment - keep control - but it transformed her attitude, you could see it in her eyes. Regathering control I remembered what I should have been doing. I pulled hard on each nipple to lift the breast off her chest, slapped it really hard, called her a whore and spat on her face. She came at almost the same moment. We saw each other regularly for several years after that and I learnt a big lesson from her. Hmm, that reminds me .. I must give her a call!
So on to the $64,000 question. How do you get involved in something like that? Guys, if you aren't already then I really don't know what to advise you. If you see it as you getting off, you are already on the wrong track. If you get off on thinking about this kind of treatment then you are probably too interested to keep the control that you need to make it safe. Girls - well, I wish I could answer. Possibly through building trust, getting to know people who know people who can keep it safe enought to do but dangerous enough to frighten you. In a situation like this you are putting a lot on the line and you should be very cautious. Personally I would never trust anyone who didn't come highly recommended and I'd do some serious background checks on the people doing the recommending. If you are desperate, then look for organised gangbangs first perhaps, but with the emphasis on no violence. Once you trust them group you can maybe start exploring the abduction/rape/violence fantasies in a bit more detail. But the eventual decision must be yours and yours alone.
I can help with contacts to a gangbang group that I have found to be reliable - and no, it has no shortage of volunteer males!
Your comments and feedback are welcome. This is not a simple thing to discuss and I know that my views are just those of one person. I'd particularly like to hear from women who get off on this; I know plenty of men who are wannabe rapists but the victim's point of view is much more interesting.
This is a fascinating
and twisted subject. For myself, the impersonal objectification is more compelling than rough rape play
but I rarely rule anything out totally. It is good sometimes to have some variety in ones experiences.
Reader ExperiencesAs an example of the way these feelings affect some women, here is a letter from Betty, who wrote to me after reading this page.
I am a woman in my 20's, I am trying to learn more about some sexual needs that until recently I didn't even know I had. I read your section on objectification and was amazed at how well it described me. Until about a year ago, my sex life I would say had been pretty normal. I work cleaning people's houses. A year ago I started cleaning house for a man who was usually home while I worked. It was obvious he enjoyed looking at me while I worked and that his interest was sexual, although he was not overtly inappropriate. I discovered that I enjoyed the attention and I started changing my behavior, wearing lipstick and nicer shorts when I did his place. I started taking longer to do his place and I would spend more time working on my hands and knees because it was obvious that was what he enjoyed most. I thought this was just an enjoyable flirtation and never thought it would go beyond this.